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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take action now.  This started with my DH just before the pandemic and it’s still with him.

It’s so bad that he thinks that everyone (including random people who see him in a grocery store) are talking about an incident that happened in a mid west state that only our immediate family know about.

I can barely breath, my work performance has fallen apart and I constantly have a pit in my stomach.  I used to be content before this but the last 4 years of dealing with this have decimated me. Although you would never tell if you knew me in person.[/quote]

DP I am in the same boat. I really feel for you. Maybe we can be in some kind of support group for spouses with mental illness who are drowning and have to carry on with normal life even though we live in an alternate reality.

OP I don’t want to scare you but this happened to my DH and he eventually accused me of assault and I had to go to court to clear it.

My therapist thinks it is severe borderline personality disorder. Assuming malintent and suspiciousness are aspects of this.

BPD is relational trauma, and overlaps with C-PTSD. Does he have childhood trauma?

I think you need to take this really seriously. I was drowning too with two young kids during the pandemic and though I posted here, I couldn’t figure out what actions to take. Research the best couples counselor you can find and go now. In the meantime, try to get support for your own stress as much as possible. Therapy for you. Get a financial advisor and address the practical issues head on. Basically, although you don’t have the energy, you need to muster it up to deal with this situation head on. Before it becomes the crisis it is heading towards. Get help in the form of these experts so you can head this off with actual actions, like medication or financial restructuring or whatever. It’s going to be a long road to a solution but better to start it now than when you’re on the brink of divorce.[/quote]

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