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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not about cheating but about everyone else's intentions. He's sensitive to any criticism or constructive feedback and gets in moods where he feels everyone is against him. He seems to assume malintent when there clearly isn't any. It's becoming very tough to express myself because he says I make everything about me and ignore him.

[b]This is relatively new behavior and I'm both hurt and worried. I adore this man and these changes are concerning.[/b] [/quote]

OP, the bold is key. Since this is a change, there is something going on-- this isn't a case of "This is his basic personality, I just didn't realize how bad it was before" etc. When there's a behavioral change, it's time to think: What has changed externally for him? New job? More stress/responsibility/boss issues at current job? Issues with the kids? Finances? Aging parent issues and elder care on the horizon? A death in his circle? Moving house? Something in his life that set this off when someone really did do something against him and now he sees that everywhere? I'd be asking all these things of myself right away. Maybe pinpointing possible stressors would help you and him figure out why this is a NEW behavior and out of character for him.

Then comes dealing with it. Have you spoken to him -- at a time when he is NOT expressing these feelings, not in the throes of "So and so is against me!" or "You, DW, make it all about yourself!" etc.? A time when things are calm and OK and the kids are not going to come into the room and interrupt, and he does not need to be somewehere else in an hour? I get that you'd want to be careful so as not to set off the feelings--especially toward you. I would actually say out loud to him that you're finding it hard to express yourself, and you have been curbing what you say to him, and because you love and care for him, you don't want to curb or edit yourself. Then say this is not about you; it's about a change you detect in him, and you are concerned. You may need to point out the "they're all against me" behaviors with some specifics without being accusatory.

I'd also be looking at getting him a full checkup. My DH didn't get like yours, but he did become uncharacteristically irritable for a time and we found out it was actually a physical medical issue (easily fixed with meds).

I'm glad to see a post like yours that comes from a place of "this is a change and I am concerned for someone I love," instead of what I often see on this site, which is, "My spouse isn't perfect and I hate him now" witih zero concern about the spouse's mental and physical well-being! [/quote]

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