Reply to When your co-parent lies to your kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What you say to this stuff depends entirely on how old your child is.

Since this sounds like it's still pretty new, it's okay to acknowledge that these changes have been hard. Say, "We are still figuring out what schedule works best for everyone, especially you." With young kids, you can just keep reinforcing that we are still figuring it out, everyone is trying, everyone loves them, etc.

Your best parenting move here is to NEVER put your kid in the position of having to carry these messages for you - both in the context of not saying the stuff your ex said in the first place and also by under-reacting to it when it gets repeated to you. My ex-husband's girlfriend told him, in front of our kid, that I wasn't allowed to come in the house anymore, and when my wide-eyed 4yo said, "Mommy, why did Audrey say you can't come in the house anymore?" I said, "I don't know, baby, but we will do our best to respect Daddy's rules at Daddy's house" and then I changed the subject, while furiously texting my ex to never do that sh*t again.

But I would probably say different things for different ages of kid. That 4yo is 14 now and we have really different conversations about her deadbeat dad.[/quote]

Kid is 12, but I feel as though the conversation is going to be different for a 12 year old who has 8 years to get used to the separation, and for my kid who is still adjusting.

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