Reply to How long can I ethically date him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That’s not an “ethical” problem.  Am ethical problem would be if he were married or wanted by the police.

Your terminology is off.[/quote]

OP. I think it is an ethical problem to lead someone on if you are both interested in a serious relationship/long term commitment but not with the other person. Time is valuable, no matter your age, and wasting someone’s time is unethical IMO.[/quote]

New poster. OP, I think you're right that it's unethical in the circumstances you describe and I respect you for not wanting to lead him on, if he's thinking this is more than it really is to you.

I also see above that some PPs are telling you to add details of specificlally what you find immature. I think you do not owe anyone, including strangers on DCUM, details. You've already been very clear that for reasons of your own, you are not interested in a long-term, committed relationship with him, as much as you like him. We should be addressing the question you actually asked here, which is whether and how long to keep seeing him; the question is [b]not[/b] "[i]Should[/i] I stop seeing him?" DCUM loves to pick apart OP posts and more details will end up derailing your real question.

I think there is no magical number of weeks or months here. I would not wait to have this talk; better to do it now and immediately break up, than to put it off and let him keep thinking there's a real relationship forming. Don't waste his time--or your own. I'd tell him now what you've said here, minus the "immature" part (because--he'd possibly either get offended or he'd try to "fix" it and you don't want either). Tell him how much you enjoy him and that you do not have an interest in a long-term relationship but would be glad to keep seeing him.

Only you and he can determine if "seeing" each other means having sex for fun but without involving feelings that'll be hurt if you find out he's sleeping with other people or vice versa. I am a fan of exclusivity, speaking for myself, so you do need to think through whether you want to ask for exclusivity (until either of you moves on to someone else), or whether you are both OK with the possibility of multiple partners for each other. Something to consider before you talk to him, I think. [/quote]

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