Reply to S/o how to ensure I’m not a burden on my kids as I age

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[quote=Anonymous]I am first gen Indian immigrant so I have not had to deal with aging parents on day to day basis.  My aging ILs are in India and I fly back frequently to visit them and do a lot of remote care -CCTV, attendants, domestic help -  which is a financial possibility in India.

In my mind, the culture of multi-generational families removes the challenges of eldercare and childcare if the family is functional and collaborative.  In Indian culture, at least we do have a blueprint for this type of living.

In US, I observe with interest how others in my community are navigating old age.  Example 1 - One widowed friend sold her house and pooled the money with her 2 married ACs to help both children buy large homes in good school districts in different cities. She is the co-owner and  has her own independent unit in these homes and shares the common area. Her kids would not have been able to afford these houses at such an young age without her help. She lives in both places and has her friends circle and medical care in both places. More importantly, she has freed herself of home maintainence tasks, personal security concerns or having someone to take care of her if she is unwell because the infrastructure is in place in both houses.  At the same time, she had control of her property, and her independence.

Example 2 -  Another older couple, had their eldest son and DIL continue to live  in to their home after marriage and continued supporting  them.  Once the younger couple were financially solvent, the older couple sold their home and all became co-owners of a large home in a good school district in DMV. At one point four generations were living in the same house. Later on, the older couple, sold their ownership to their son and DIL and started paying rent to them. They used the money to finance their youngest son's house.  Through long illness and death of the older man, the family has shared the care and the life of the remaining partner has not been upended.

In the case of both examples, several things were common - 
- the parents were fairly young. First example, the lady as in her early 50s.  The second example - the family were always in a multi-gen living and the older couple were also in their 50s.  
- the parents were not broke. They all had the money to live independently if needed. They had also paid for their kids college, weddings etc so there is a natural gratefulness and respect for parents making these sacrifices for their children.  
- the parents retained control of their money and property. 
- the parents helped the children buy homes that they could not have bought by themselves. They also pitched in money to outsource chores (cleaners, landscapers, part time cook) that made it comfortable for the entire family and did not cause resentment
- the grandparents helped in raising the grandkids and it fostered bonds in the family
- the grandparents though very attached with their families, also had a thriving social life. [/quote]

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