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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish we wouldn't be so hard on people who are not 100% on board with having children. It is a big decision and an even bigger commitment! Not everyone is like OP and wanted to be parents their whole lives. Her husband's willingness to communicate with her about his doubts and fears is a good thing - shows that he's honest and not afraid of being vulnerable. I'm in my early 30s as well and share many of his misgivings. I would be devastated if instead of talking these through, my DH issues ultimatums and makes me feel bad.[/quote] The ultimatum is only if he’s doing a 180 and now saying he doesn’t want kids. He needs to figure out if he’s a yes or a no on parenthood before they can address any other issues. He needs to commit one way or the other. My husband was always in the yes camp. He definitely wanted kids, but when I was ready to start trying, he had some fears about the logistics. I told him to take the time that he needed to be ready, but to keep in mind that every year we delayed having kids was one less year our kids would know their grandparents. Within a few months, he was very agreeable to a one year plan. We spent a year preparing — we attended a “So you’re thinking about having a baby” talk at a local hospital, we moved to a more family friendly area, and we basically had the mindset that there was a definitive timeline for TTC. Turns out, we were infertile and didn’t become parents until almost 4 years after we started trying. Had we waited a few more years to start trying, biological children might not have been a possibility.[/quote]
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