Reply to Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh. I don't want kids so I understand how he feels. But it's so shi**y to put a thirty something woman in this position. I am a woman and I was always upfront with men I dated that I wanted to get married but probably didn't want kids and they needed to be ok with that. I wasted several years of my thirties dating two different men who claimed they were fine with that and then broke up with me claiming they wanted kids.

Anyway. Some people are ok with having kids or not having kids. Some are not. It sounds like you want kids and are not in the "either way is fine" camp. In that case, I would probably give him a few months to mull this over and if he doesnt want kids, I would start considering divorce. You could also consider freezing your eggs.

Ask yourself, [b]if you find yourself 45 and divorced and widowed, are you going to be ok with the fact you dont have kids?[/b][/quote]

Especially if he then remarries a younger woman and starts a family.  As it is he's making a permanent decision for her without really sacrificing anything himself.[/quote]
this kind of sh1t happens all the time.

If you guys talked about having kids before you got married, and now he's hesitant (which I can totally understand the fear), then it's also not fair to you. I (the wife) was a fence sitter myself about having kids, as was DH.  So, we both agreed to try, and either situation of me getting pregnant or not would be fine. I gave myself a year. I got pregnant within 3 months.

I knew a guy who said he wasn't crazy about the idea of having kids, but he knew his wife always wanted them, and that she'd leave him if he said no kids.  They have two kids now in college, and they are still married (as far as I know.. haven't spoken to them in a while).

Whatever decision your DH makes, he'd better own up to it. If you guys end up having kids, he should be the best parent he can be, and not blame you for his life changing.  It's not like you put a gun to his head or raped him.

My DH is a good dad, but when I wanted DC#2, he was hesitant. He gave in, and when I got pregnant (after 4 months), he was not happy.  I said to him, "WTF.. you weren't unhappy when you were making the baby."  He said, "I didn't think you'd get pregnant".  WTF... I got pregnant in 3 months with DC#1. What on earth made you think I wouldn't get pregnant easily with dC#2?  He didn't want our finances to take a hit with a second child. It's not like we were poor. We were (still) making a UMC HHI.

I was very upset with him for a very long time.

DC#2 is 15 now, and DH is a great dad.[/quote]

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