Reply to SIL and dad’s funeral

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for the responses.  I do wonder if I’m overreacting or misdirecting feelings, so it’s helpful to read that and think more about my reaction. That said, I also feel like you just show up when someone dies — [b]I told all of my friends not to go through hassle to come to funeral (it was on a weekday,[/b] all have kids including toddlers, etc) and they all just came. Some came from far afield. Others who were far and couldn’t come sent a card or a food gift card or flowers. Even a card just meant so much.  She didn’t do any of that, which really made me second guess how much I want to bother investing.[/quote]

Okay, c'mon.  You explicitly told people not to come and she didn't come and you're now writing her off?  She lives hours away, and you're upset she didn't just show up on a weeknight?  I'm not trying to be mean but I don't know what you want from her other than a whipping boy at this point.  She called you, you didn't pick up.  She's texted you.  Both of those things - personal contact to express support - are more effort than an Edible Arrangement or whatever you're so jazzed about from the other SIL.  You are avoiding her ("I think she still talks to the kids") because you're upset, but you've never expressed that you're upset with her and in fact implied you'd prefer to be left alone by not calling her back, which makes you the problem at this point.

Sorry about your dad.  Stop being a dick to your SIL.  She didn't do anything wrong.[/quote]

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