Reply to So here we are, as expected

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like there are two separate issues.

One is that your Dad had a bad fall, and that all of his care will fall to your sister.  It's sad and hard when our elderly parents fall and need help.  It's natural for siblings to split the responsibility.  But unfortunately, you can't go right now because you have an injury that prevents flying.  So, you'll need to say no, and be grateful to your sister that she's able and willing to be there providing the help.  Maybe look into other ways of being helpful, such as researching nursing homes, or helping arrange home help.

The other is that you took on a home renovation chore that was beyond your ability and got injured.  You and your husband's disagreement about how to use that particular space might play a role in that.  Maybe you should have been more honest about not being able to do it.  Maybe he shouldn't have been so insistent on keeping the awning.  Your new plan to hire professionals is a good one, if you can afford it.

I'm sorry you got hurt.   I could sort of understand if you wanted to scream at yourself, or your husband, or the universe.  But I'm not sure why you are wanting to scream at your parents and your sister.  This is clearly a recent injury. Unlike yours it was probably not preventable.  Your sister being there is what is preventing you from just taking the physical damage of flying which is what many of us would have to do in your case.  Given all of that, I think you need to be gracious and not expect them to suddenly have a plan.  [/quote]

I thought I could. I never considered repetition injury. I’ve told my husband that he no longer has a say in things like that if he’s not going to be part of the actual solution.

Both parents were already disabled and frail prior to the fall but my sister was able to still work. This changes that. All three insisted they were fine and were clearly willing to hit a wall before making changes. We are there. I am not expecting them to have a plan. I’m expecting to be able to formulate a plan that’s reasonable for all. Hard to do when dealing with parents who won’t face reality.

I wrote this to tell people that trying to accommodate people is not wise and to encourage them to draw clear boundaries earlier than I did. If my husband divorces me, that will be his choice.[/quote]

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