Reply to Vent - being a mom is not what I expected

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for the support and commiseration. It helps to know I'm not alone.

9:20, you are totally right that my way of coping is no longer very feasible, which compounds the issues. I have always dealt with stress by getting some alone time to recharge and getting a good sleep. Neither of those things are possible now, and I feel like I have to be "on" 24/7.

I also cope with stress by seeking control. I'm used to doing things well -- usually because I am stubborn and work my butt off to achieve, even when I'm not good at something. With a baby, there is no control, and no amount of trying and trying and trying on my part can make him achieve something. He's his own person with his own issues, and I have to accept that, but it's hard when I know what's best for him but can't get him to do it. I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing when he's 15 and even 25, but it's been a hard adjustment to let go of those things. I don't want to make the wrong choice just because I'm tired and stressed, but I also don't want to force him to be something he isn't. Sigh.[/quote]

I could have written this 2.5 years ago. I felt like I was drowning. I think you need both a short term and long term strategy for yourself. In the short term, you need to get some SLEEP. Hire a sitter, hire a baby nurse if you can afford it. Have your DH help out more -- whatever it takes to get some solid sleep once in a while. Not only will this make you feel better, but you will wake up with such a renewed sense of purpose and you will be much less stressed out about everything. Spend some money if you can because sleep is such a wonderful medicine.

For the long term, simply take comfort in three things: 1) as everyone has says, it gets a LOT easier. 2) You get much more used to it so your longings for a day of total freedom seem to fade and your joy with your baby will increase and 3) you simply won't remember this misery!!! It's amazing what hormones and the maternal brain do to those first few months of memories....[/quote]

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