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[quote=Anonymous]My parents are/were like OP. My siblings all had kids and for a time I did not think I wanted them. Then my DH and I decided in our mid-30s that we wanted a kid after all, and had one (very happily, it was absolutely the right choice for us at the right time).

The interesting thing was that it was like a flip switched with my parents, who went from barely registering that I existed to wanting to be a big part of our lives, because suddenly there's a grandchild and they are very invested in that. But I don't forget that they didn't care about me or my life at all before I had a kid. They want a certain level of access and control over my kid and they don't get it because I don't think it comes from a good place. Why, so they can then ignore my child when she's an adult, unless or until she produces children? It's weird. It's like they are only interested in young children. And it also feels like they are only interested in me as a person if I'm producing kids for them, which as a woman it pretty insulting.

The OP and others who make this the whole focus don't seem to get they are poisoning their relationships with not only their kids, but also their grandkids. Oh, and my siblings who had kids much younger than me? They also have ALL kinds of issues with my parents now. My sister doesn't currently speak to them and won't let them see her kids.

If you're smart and value your relationship with your kids and any future grandkids, you better learn how to accept your children for who they are and accept their life choices as valid whether it's what you want for them or not. [/quote]

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