Reply to Thinking of asking elderly parents to move here (VA)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents in upstate NY have been talking about moving closer to me for at least a decade. For a while I researched places out in more rural VA (they don't like the city and I'm in DC proper). I figured an hour to 90 minutes away is much better than 5-6 hours. After a few years I had to step off because as much as they talked about moving, they never actually did anything to work on it. I think like a PP said, the logistics are just too overwhelming to them. And I (only kid) don't have the bandwidth to figure it out for them. Plus they have lived in that area their whole lives so it would be a big move.

So now they are still in a house with lots of stairs and only two rooms with A/C, while my dad's mobility is deteriorating and my mom gets sick whenever it's too hot. I've accepted that nothing will change until it has to change. I was hoping to be proactive but now I will be happy if they find an appropriate housing situation near where they are now. [/quote]

Take it from me, find the time to be proactive.  I tried to get my parents to move closer to me when they were still in ok health and they wouldn’t have anything to do with it.  Then my dad died and my mother became basically a helpless widow.  I then had to scramble to move her here (in the midst of grieving, depression, a UTI, etc) and it was a nightmare.  I then had to clean out their house (which took a lot of effort and almost a year) and sell it. 15 months later, things are finally settling down a bit and now she’s been diagnosed with dementia.  Thankfully she is now in an age-in-place community and at least has 24/7 support and access to food, care, friends and entertainment.  It was a MAJOR adjustment for her and one I wished she could have eased into when my father was alive. [/quote]

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