Reply to Thinking of asking elderly parents to move here (VA)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP makes good points. If they move there can be some deterioration. That said, it can sometimes be a nightmare when they chose to age in place.

I will tell you living near my parents went far differently than I expected. I knew they wouldn't help us at all with our kids while able and that was fine, but they were so fiercely independent I didn't assume they would become so needy and just plain mean. My dad, not so much, but moreso my mother. [b]The strange thing she is still fiercely independent and will then be needy but yell at you and tantrum if you don't help her with exactly the right words, tone of voice, actions.[/b] I could try to adjust everything when my life wasn't as stressful, but once I had my own major stressors in the family I created it was unbearable even with a therapist giving me tips.

If they move to a facility where they can move independent to assisted, etc great. If they won't, I would look into aging professionals where they are like a geriatric social worker. While they are still very independent the person could just visit maybe twice a year to form a relationship, but as they age you increase the visits to once a month and even once a week. You want someone who can coordinate caregivers too and see if they have an emergency response system. Even living near my parents after many years of being the emergency response it becomes too much because in my case they felt too comfortable being on their worst behavior and you have you own kids. Now their are professionals in place who can take care of this. It's very expensive. For us it is so worth it. It took me so long to recover from each ordeal and it took a toll on our family.[/quote]

[b]The bolded is dementia.[/b][/quote]
Not necessarily, my mom's been that way her whole life.[/quote]

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