Reply to stubborn senior declaring she would rather die falling at home than go into a nursing home

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[quote=Anonymous]She's 70 so there is time to revisit this. Sounds like she's fine at home for now and she may not see the point in discussing all of it right now. I'm not saying I agree with that approach (I'm a planner) but a healthy 70 year old may have many years ahead of them.

We are currently dealing with this situation except it's my grandmother and she's 96. She lives alone in a close-knit community of (younger) friends who regularly get together to go to the pool, to dinner, card games, and church. They all take care of each other, and one of my uncles lives nearby and pops over to bring food and spend time with her. She's remarkably healthy for her age but she has fallen twice in the last 2 years and gotten pretty hurt both times (somehow avoided breaking any bones, so in her mind, she's "fine"). She is as stubborn and self-sufficient as they come but has FINALLY started to accept that she probably needs to go into assisted living. Ten years ago she would never have entertained the notion and steadfastly refused to wear a medical alert. It's really frustrating, but she wasn't ready to give up her freedom and her friends--and still isn't. She has gotten quite depressed at the thought of going into assisted living. Yet she also refuses to live with one of her children because she doesn't want to "burden" them. It's really hard--it's getting too difficult for her to live on her own and we all worry about her, and while she seems open to assisted living, I fear her will to live will be affected if she is no longer able to live life on her terms.

OP, I would revisit this issue with your mom every few years and certainly if a medical issue arises. Her feelings may change as she gets older.[/quote]

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