Reply to DD leaving for college soon: can we repair our relationship before she leaves?

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Reply to "DD leaving for college soon: can we repair our relationship before she leaves?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A start is that you need to acknowledge her independence (even if she's not fully financially independent, it sounds like she is very independent in other ways) and build a relationship as adults.  Don't try to mother her.  Support her.  Encourage her.  Be a source of stability.  Try to find things you enjoy doing together.  Don't try to control her with money or rules.  She'll just cut you off.

I cut my parents off emotionally when I went to college.  They weren't supportive of me and tried again and again to cut me down.  I was done.  We went many years with minimal contact.

When I was ready to have kids I slowly reestablished the relationship so my kids could have grandparents in their lives.  It was okay for a while, but there would be slip after slip where they were cruel to me. I did my best to keep reasonable boundaries to protect myself, while still being kind.  It came to a head this past Thanksgiving and our relationship has ended.  My kids still call them sometimes, but I'm done.  My parents don't love me the way I deserve to be loved.  That hurts a ton, but I don't need to keep putting myself out there and being reminded of it.  That's even worse.[/quote]

Same. Was hoping they could be good grandparents even though they were shit parents but their nature didn’t change.[/quote]

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