Reply to Coming to Terms with Smaller Family-ASD

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a DH who received his ASD diagnosis after I begged him to go in for testing when our baby was 3 months old. His tantrums, rigidity, executive function lapses and moods escalated and I realized that something was wrong. Initially the doctors assessed him for and diagnosed him with ADHD, but after a few months of medication they brought him back in for more testing. There is no “gracefully” when I’m coparenting with him. When he is at his maximum effort and stress, a typical adult would still have 50% of their patience and energy left. So he can’t support me and my DD through normal bumps, twists, disagreements, interruptions or challenges. It sends him over the edge and he’ll blow up or just freeze and disappear. Depending on where and when it happens, I not only have to leap into action but I also have to cover for any of his inappropriate behavior if it is in public and seamlessly take over as the only parent in that moment.

ASD made so much sense and was somewhat of a relief, but it was devastating for our family structure and how I looked at my future family. It was too much to consider adding anything else to his plate because sharing space with one child (who is neurotypical in our case) was too much for him.

Parenting my child is a joy and I feel lucky to have that. Co-parenting my child with my DH is a burden I never imagined and has left me feeling sad, lonely, overwhelmed and isolated. [/quote]

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