Reply to Family camping trip is making me question all my parenting choices

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[quote=Anonymous]First, do not judge your parenting based on the behavior of other people's children; different kids have different personalities and needs. You are parenting the unique child you have, and she comes with her own set of needs and issues. Turn off the noisy criticism.

As to your primary question, this can be a chicken or egg situation: is she having trouble with transitions because you indulge her, or are your parenting choices accommodating her innate challenges and actual needs?

If your child turns out to have a developmental difference like ADHD or ASD or even just a particularly difficult personality, then the latter is the case. Every parent is challenged to figure out each individual child, what makes them tick, what helps them navigate this world, and the answer is not always the same for each kid, even within a family. If the usual parenting advice is not working with this kid, i.e., the same rules and consequences that other parents use fail time and again with your kid, then chances are good that your kid has different needs. And special needs kids require a PhD in parenting  that parents of typical kids will never require or acquire. Some kids really are harder to parent than others, so you will have more work ahead of you, add you can succeed in teaching your child to navigate this world.

On the other hand, if you've never used rules and consequences that other parents typically use, then a good starting place is to get a book or take a class and give it a try.

So, I'd say, cut yourself some slack and recognize that your parenting is most likely in response to the child you have. Read some books like "Your Spirited Child," "1-2-3 Magic" or whatever is popular these days, while you get an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, and if all checks out fine, join some PEP-type parenting classes to help you find a way to help this child navigate her world.[/quote]

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