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[quote=Anonymous]So when I think about how I would feel as your friend, here’s what I would think.

You didn’t show at the service, so you are showing me you are not that close of a friend. (Which is fine.)

But then you want me to schedule a time for you to meet up somewhere/come over to give me a candle you sent elsewhere last wk. Now it feels a little like you are just doing this for you, not for me. I’ve just gone through all of the planning of the services, possibly months before that of care, and possibly lots ahead with executor/carrying out final wishes etc while I just want to take a nap - and now I have to set a time to pick up this candle & assure you that no, it’s all good that you didn’t come, you didn’t get the address right, whatever. Here’s the point where it feels not great.

So she’s overreacting, but also, this was not ideal. If like you have said you are not all that close, don’t bother her about the gift. Let it go. Send her a card if you would like & leave it at that.

Learning for the future if you have other friends’ parents pass - go if you can. If you are close, see what else they need. If not, don’t text about making them meet up after the service for something- they are exhausted from all of the other demands, don’t be another one. [/quote]

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