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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as someone who's lost both parents in the last few years, please allow me to give this perspective:

-Grieving for my mom's death was physically draining. I would barely have the bandwidth to deal with all the logistics and arrangements. I'm ashamed to say that I let a lot of messages go unanswered. It was what it was--I was barely keeping my head above water. Your sending the gift to the wrong address and asking about it would add to my stress. 
-Her not responding for days is completely normal. 
-Her lashing out at you was uncalled for. 
-You didn't do anything to make life easier for her during an extremely difficult time. Did you send a meal? Offer to do grocery run? Offer any practical help? This is not a normal time for social interactions; you needed to step up, but instead created more work for her. You asked for info about the service, but didn't go to support her. Then you sent the card and gift to the wrong address--together these incidents paint you as flaky at best and thoughtless at worst.

I think both of you behaved in a less than ideal manners. We don't know her side, but since you're the one writing, I'm offering my perspective and hope you can gain some understanding of where she's coming from. [/quote]

Thanks for this perspective and I'm sorry for your loss.

I guess I just have/had a completely different idea of what is expected of people during times of loss. It would not have occurred to me to offer 'practical' help given our relationship just isn't that close and I guess I know she has a ton of family in the area. And you're right, I was flaky when I sent the gift/card because I put my dog down that day and my mind was definitely somewhere else. I asked for the service because I was trying to figure out how to make it, but couldn't. I guess I just feel there are different ways people respond and I could have never known that she would have cared so much if I was there or not. I mean, I found out on social media.

But I will take this all into consideration going forward, so thank you.[/quote]

So sorry about your dog OP and it sounds like you both have suffered a huge loss.

Good on you for being open-minded re: the situation because not everyone is.[/quote]

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