Reply to Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing

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Reply to "Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is about two things:

1) You are furious at the sibling who won't visit.  I would be, too.  In fact, in my extended family we have a similar situation with a sibling who has completely checked out of his parents' care and won't visit or call.  It is very frustrating and hurtful.  We don't really get it but have to assume he can't handle it emotionally or otherwise has no bandwidth.  Is it fair to those who are doing the hard, everyday work?  of course not.  But it is what it is, and it's unlikely to change.  Best to let it go.  Also, let go of the inheritance issue.  Your checked-out sib is going to have to live with his choices for the rest of his life.  That is his real punishment.

2) You are feeling overwhelmed by your responsibilities to your mom.  In this case, I think you should take a look at what you are currently doing and make choices about what you can outsource so you don't feel so stressed out.  If it's truly about compensation, charge an hourly rate, but it sounds like it's more about you feeling overly burdened by weekly tasks.  So go ahead and make the executive decision to outsource those things that you least like doing.  Get your responsibilities to a place that you feel comfortable and not unreasonably overworked.  Spend your mom's money to make this happen.  I think this will go a long way to help you feel less resentful and taken advantage of.[/quote]

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