Reply to Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much would something like laundry cost? What if you raised the question with the siblings, saying that laundry cost $x per month at the facility, but that you're willing to do it for $y (less than x!), then ask which they would prefer. It may be that it's worth it to them to pay someone else so that you don't play the martyr.[/quote]

Medication management plus laundry is an extra $700 a month. I just feel badly my mother spending $8400 a year on that. I have been doing it for over a year so I have saved her $12,600. The sibling who is supportive is extremely angry at the one who hasn't visited in 4 years and has just said we should pay but when I proposed it to our mother, she became so angry. She was a nurse so the thought of somebody (besides me) giving her medication gets her extremely agitated. [/quote]

If the sibling who manages the money thinks you should pay for medication/laundry, go ahead and talk to them about paying yourself.  Don’t bring it up with the do nothing sibling; it’s a detail of care and they’ve expressed that they’re not interested in the details sounds like.  That way you get paid for your time and are less resentful and your mom is comfortable because you’re still the one giving her medication etc.[/quote]

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