Reply to Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing

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[quote=Anonymous]Whether or not you get paid for doing this work should be separate in your mind from your sibling’s relationship with your mom. Who knows why your sibling is like this, doesn’t visit, etc. it sucks but is not your relationship to manage.

Your time and your parent’s care (in collaboration with others) *are* yours to manage. One sibling getting paid for doing more work is certainly reasonable. But there should be discussion with the other siblings, a written contract, etc. The book “how to care for aging parents” by Virginia Morris has a chapter, “the inner circle,” that discusses all of this.

You could hire someone like a geriatric care manager to mediate a family meeting, to discuss what care tasks need to be done (day to day, financial planning, etc) how to keep people from getting burnt out, compensation for your work, etc. If there’s a basic issue of fairness here and compensation could help alleviate that then that it’s totally reasonable.

But your sibling isn’t going to do all the things you wish they would do and you kind of have to let go of that.[/quote]

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