Reply to Should I contact birth child?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Should I contact birth child?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]thanks for all the great opinions. [b]I thought i would just invite her to look at my page (which is under a pseudonym so not easily found) so she can see photos[/b]. It's "public" so she does not have to "friend" me to see it - right?

It was an "open" adoption and I happen to know she went to a very well-off family and had a privileged upbringing, had a brother, went to a gorgeous university, etc. Her parents were very loving and grateful and i can't imagine she really felt THAT rejected.

I was a poor, messed up teenager. Do adopted children understand this about their birthmothers? I was not drug addicted, I just could not offer her what a child deserves, and knew there were hundreds of families out there that could.

Also, in my personal adoption file, [b]I put "please don't contact"[/b] (it's a choice birthmothers have in open adoptions) [b]and she did anyway so I don't feel that bad about that[/b], either.

And thanks for the "wait til the weekend" advice- i'll do that.[/quote]

It sounds like you want her to learn about you (Share photos? Like with your other children?) but you don't really care about her at all. It's you you you, all over again.

I also don't like how you are all self-righteous that you put "do not contact" and yet she dared contact you. I hope you reach out to her and get your ass kicked!![/quote]

I don't feel as strongly as the PP, but I agree that the birth child has the potential to be greatly hurt by your overture and reaching out, and then saying, "You can only look at photos."  I am an adoptive mom and if something as momentous as the appearance of her BM arrived in DD's life, and then all she got to do was look at photos, it would be opening a whole can of worms for. . .what?. . .not much.  Just my two cents.  I think you have to be prepared for a more fully engaged relationship, not just, "Please feel free to look at my photos."  Or maybe I misunderstood you about that.  I'd feel hurt for my daughter if her BM was like, "Please feel free to look at my pictures," and that's it?  After all these years?  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics