Reply to I get upset when high-stakes things go wrong, husband doesn't care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a lot of the previous posters have good points, although some have been a bit harsh. I think some of the things you can do to help with a similar situation in the future are:

1) [b]Try to lower your expectations.[/b] I understand the anticipation and excitement (we all look forward to these kinds of things), but it sounds like you had a lot emotionally invested in this experience that you were unable to pull back from when it didn't meet your expectations.
2) Try to make the best of things in the moment. This is what your husband was doing and your inability to do this made it a worse experience for both of you. If you can do this, I think you will find your husband will be more sympathetic after the fact about how the experience wasn't what you had both hoped for.
3) Have a contingency plan if possible. In this case, if you knew the experience wasn't going to satisfy you and feel like it was worth the high cost of the dinner, you could have just left the restaurant instead of accepting the substandard table. Similarly, if you've splurged on something that is weather dependent, try and make sure there are alternative options if the weather does not cooperate.[/quote]

I would phrase this slightly differently.  Rather than lowering your expectations, try to adjust your expectations to be more open-minded.

I try to go into experiences, especially ones like this with an expectation of enjoying myself without having specific measurements or readings to "tick off".  As has been pointed out, if you go with the expectation that you'll enjoy an evening out with your spouse without having specific expectations of what will happen (table with a great view, great service) then you may be better able to appreciate things that do go right.  I have often found that when I put specific expectations out, that I can then miss other things that turn out great.  If you worry about the service being mediocre, then you may not notice that you had the best appetizer you've even eaten, even if it was expensive.  Or you might miss that you discovered a new bottle of wine that you really enjoyed, but you were too upset about where you were seated.

We recently went on vacation and I was disappointed with the location, the people, the city we visited.  But at least we had some fantastic attractions and I enjoyed a rare vacation with my family and we were able to do things together that we really enjoyed.  If I had focused more on the unmet expectations, I may not have enjoyed the vacation nearly as much as I did.  Instead I tried to focus on the things that did go right and were very enjoyable and we agreed that we had had an awesome vacation (despite the many disappointments along the way).

Change the perspective and find enjoyment where you can.[/quote]

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