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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]thanks for all the great opinions. I thought i would just invite her to look at my page (which is under a pseudonym so not easily found) so she can see photos. It's "public" so she does not have to "friend" me to see it - right?

It was an "open" adoption and I happen to know she went to a very well-off family and had a privileged upbringing, had a brother, went to a gorgeous university, etc. Her parents were very loving and grateful and i can't imagine she really felt THAT rejected.

[b]I was a poor, messed up teenager. Do adopted children understand this about their birthmothers? I was not drug addicted, I just could not offer her what a child deserves, and knew there were hundreds of families out there that could.[/b]Also, in my personal adoption file, I put "please don't contact" (it's a choice birthmothers have in open adoptions) and she did anyway so I don't feel that bad about that, either.

And thanks for the "wait til the weekend" advice- i'll do that.[/quote]

I'm an adoptee and an adoptive parent.  I never thought badly of my birth mom growing up, but I knew that she had access to my file that my parents updated and never looked for whatever reason.  It wasn't until I grew up and adopted my own child that I really realized that birth parents have complex situations and that just because mine never looked at my file, didn't mean they hated me or didn't think of me.  My child's birth parents also have the option to look at her file, which we update yearly with letters and pictures, but they have not done so either.  That's ok- they  have their reasons and I respect them.

I will most likely never be able to contact my birth mom, so please, in her place, accept my thanks and know that I am happy with a wonderful life.[/quote]

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