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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, you have to stop accepting her paid vacations. Then, you can establish boundaries in good conscience.[/quote]

NP. This, above, first and foremost.

But even more immediately, since you're already on vacation with them right now: Someone asked the crucial question above, OP.

Is this something new? If so, it may be a sign of cognitive/aging/dementia issues and not really about her being some toxic person. If this is new, a change in behavior, you would do better to be concerned than pi$$ed, frankly, and should be thinking of how to get her evaluated.

If this is NOT new or fairly recent behavior, well, you likely already had an inkling this wouldn't go well. Can't go back and undo things, so either leave, or work out a plan now for how to cope during the rest of the vacation. If you plan to stay and cope: Be glad you're under a separate roof from hers and use that to full advantage. Do not meet up for every meal every day. Have days where you or DH takes the kids somewhere else like a park (any small amusement parks/arcades/kids' museums/kid-friendly historic sites/ swimming pools in the area?) for at least half the day and one meal out. Have days where your whole family goes somewhere local and you DO things rather than sitting around her house or your rental house "visiting."

Use your time to get a read on why this is "next level" behavior now. I really wonder if your mom's accelerating behavior is an issue you should be talking about with a doctor.

Have you asked her husband, privately, if she is more irritable, has a shorter fuse, etc. etc. with him, with others in their day to day lives? If you haven't asked, it's time to do so. Again, the key is whether this is something she would have done a year ago, five or 10 years ago, or if it's new or worsened behavior. She may not be 100 percent aware she's being so strange and aggressive. 
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