Reply to For those of you coasting along in a "meh" marriage, why not just end it?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "For those of you coasting along in a "meh" marriage, why not just end it?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Well, my husband left a "meh" marriage. He described it to me as they ran a house together and that was about it. Toward the end, he was sleeping on the couch every night, and they didn't do anything as a family. (I have a stepchild.) If DH took DSS out to dinner, the ex wife stayed home and vice versa. They did nothing together outside of attending DSS's sporting events and parent-teacher conferences. My husband tried everything (my MIL backs this up)- he tried planning vacations- she didn't want to spend the money. He bought jewelry and lingerie- she said she'd never wear it and asked him to take it all back. He told her he was unhappy with their sex life- she said sex was "nasty." It became too much. My husband is a great spouse- truly. I think he did everything he could to make that marriage work, and would have been happy being married if only he'd been thrown a damn bone. But you can only be miserable for so long. Toward the end, he took on a second job not because they needed the money- but because it was an opportunity for him to avoid going home. He worked an additional 30 hours+ a week JUST because it was better than being home.

So, he asked for a divorce. I know he suffers from divorced-parent guilt. But he also knows that his son knew his parents weren't happy- he was 10 when they divorced, and old enough to know that his dad slept on the couch and they never did anything as a family anymore and if everyone was home, each of them were in separate rooms doing their own thing. I think my husband had to choose between letting his son down by growing up in an unhappy family, or letting his son down by divorcing, but giving him a chance to grow up in *two* happy homes. That's what he chose. I know he hates not seeing his son every single day. I know that kills him. But he's given his son a happy family in our home, and a sibling that my stepson adores (our daughter). And also, he gave himself a chance to be happy. He doesn't dread coming home in the evenings anymore; we have fun together and have an active, healthy, happy relationship. We joke, we enjoy time together, we have sex, we raise the kids, we spend time with each other's families- it's not perfect, because nobody's life is. But it is the marriage and family life my husband wanted and felt he deserved. It took him years to do what he did in asking for the divorce- 7 years of marriage hell, after a couple "pretty good" (to use his words) first years. Seven years he stuck around just for his son, hoping it would get better. It didn't though, so he made his choice. You too have the same choice.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics