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Reply to "Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what was the plan when you married?

Can you pay for someone to renovate the house?  Or, if he's not on board with the fixer upper, dump it?

What does his research relate to?  Is there a possibility that it could get, I don't know, "picked up" and result in a benefit to your family?

Bottom line, despite all this he did/she did, do you still love him?  Maybe that is what you need to figure out.  If you love him then I would do what you have to to work it out.  If your love is dead then no, I would stop supporting him.  If he is not contributing equal effort to the overall marriage, I would not be able to live with that.  The lack of sex stems from th e overall anger and emotional disconnect you both have going on.  It is a turn off.

In the meantime I would 1) see a therapist and 2) think good and hard about changing my own job to one that I don't hate.  Even if it means a pay cut.  Do this BEFORE any divorce so that you are not stuck paying alimony from your current, hated job.  If it means you sell the house, so be it.  If it means a loss on the house, so be it.  Life is too short to be miserable.  I don't think you are a gold digger.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect BOTH partners to contribute to the marriage inc. economics.  [/quote]

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