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Reply to "Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I call troll -- I bet the H works and the W doesn't.  I see nothing wrong with a spouse working primarily on a book -- sometimes a book could make millions.  But the question is how the couple values each other and it sounds like they don't.  She doesn't respect his work.  He should help on the renovation, but it should not have to be his primary responsibility.[/quote]

What, since this isn't the 50's, there's no way the wife works more AND cares more about home improvement?

Look, 03:07 is right on. At what point did you decide, 'I am going to marry this man who isn't a career ladder-climber like me?' DH is neither lazy nor mooching off of DW - I mean, if DW works all the time, DH would be the one to pick up the slack with kids. Did you never honestly have that conversation? Or did you think he'd 'snap out of it' and all of a sudden decide he wanted to thrust himself into a career?

DW I think you lack a connection and communication with DH. I don't understand how you can get this far and be resentful. Yes maybe he is overwhelmed by the home...and prefers to spend time on his research...but that's who he is. As a couple you need to figure out how to get on the same page about realistic expectations for each other. Set a schedule of projects and AGREE on it - say saturday from 9-1 you work on the house, then you do something fun and relaxing in the afternoon. TOGETHER. That way you're not both doing your own thing all the time. You two are different - and that is  GOOD thing. But you need to recognize that and learn how that can contribute to your relationship, rather than finding all the problems.[/quote]

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