Reply to Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=FBO][quote=Anonymous]

hmm, what do you like??? That the poster had an affair o fulfill some selfish personal need? Or that she ended up with her partner in crime? Frankly, I see nothing to like. She could end up doing the same thing to her current husband and he to her.[/quote]

I like the idea that the previous poster had found someone they loved and cared for more than the person they were with.  Not only that, but they have the guts to decide that in this life, their ONLY life, they would rather be happy than worry about other peoples judgement of them.  Based on the post, I would speculate that the past 6 years for that poster have been better than they would have been if they had stayed with their previous partner.  Kudos to them for knowing that they are the ONLY person responsible for their own happiness. Not a husband, not a lover, not a child; them.

And how do you know the other partner that got cheated on has not been happier the past 6 years? The thought bears consideration

How many times a day can we all read here about people who are MISERABLE in their marriage but do not have the knowledge/ability/guts to accept that and make some life changes.  If you can stop judging the poster ('selfish personal need', 'partner in crime') then you could probably see the situation differently.

Not a confrontation, just a thought.[/quote]

6 year married cheater who will never do it again here.

I could not have said this better myself.

I am much happier now, and I believe that my ex is as well. We are both remarried and both have children. We never had children together. Our marriage should not have happened, but it did. When I was staring down the barrel of 50 years of unhappiness I decided to pull the plug. I didn't do it in the correct way, but I was an immature 25 year old. I've learned from the experience, and I believe everyone is better off for it in the end.

It seems like everyone is assuming that the first marriage was all happy and rosy and the cheater just went out and got some on the side. Both parties are almost always to blame when someone cheats. Someone isn't getting something that they need from their partner. In my case, it was emotional support. If your partner can't or won't provide something that you fundamentally need, then there are big problems. Like it or not, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that the unfulfilled partner will seek that out.

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