Reply to Parents upcoming 50th Anniversary

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parents upcoming 50th Anniversary"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nobody really knows what goes on in someone else’s marriage. I would not be so quick to judge or make assumptions. They might just be really passionate people, in many different senses of the word.

If they want to celebrate, why can’t they?

[/quote]

OP here,  my dad is having a years long affair abroad, my mom knows about this.  My siblings and I have tried to intervene, I have tried to get my mom to at least talk to a divorce lawyer, she won’t.  It’s a mess. [/quote]

NP. This post makes a big difference to me because it shows you and your siblings are WAY too enmeshed with mom and dad's toxic marriage, OP. I can see trying to tell mom "You should divorce him" once but if you and/or siblings have continued to engage after knowing mom knows, and after mom refusing to talk to a lawyer--please tell us you and all the siblings have butted out now, 100 percent. If you fear dad will leave mom at some point and screw her over financially, that is now on mom to navigate solo. You all did your part.

Knowing all this backstory drama, I would attend the party only if a sibling or siblings had worked to arrange it, and [u]solely[/u] to show support for that sibling(s) and the effort (both logistical and emotional--imagine dealing with your particular parents over party planning. Awful, no?). I'd tell the siblings that, too: "I loathe their sham marriage but I love you guys and am coming because I consider it our siblings' survival celebration." I would not utter the word "congratulations" or make any toast or speech if called on. Have your own script in your head for the day: Someone says, "Isn't it great?" or "You must be so proud they've been married 50 years!" blah blah, and you just pull out, "It's a great party [i]that Sibling arranged for the occasion[/i], isn't it?" Things like that. Stay only as long as you want and as long as the food is plentiful. Don't get tipsy or drunk, though. I foresee someone getting drunk enough to call dad out and ask whether his overseas AP is going to pop out of a cake to add to the festivities. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics