Reply to How to say no to family members who want to stay at our house when we're not here -- white lie?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not offer any white lie or excuse. Why? Because they'll counter it.

A/C broken:"No problem. We love the heat."
House getting fumigated: "Oh that won't bother us.  We love chemicals."
Need the house to be clean to start the week: "We promise we'll be neat as a pin."

Instead, say "[b]It's just not going to work for us[/b]."  This is one of those times where the less you say, the better. There is no counter response. Just keep repeating, "It's just not going to work."
[/quote]

OP here. Do you KNOW my family??  You are exactly right about the countering!  Plus I think I should at least be considerate enough to tell them in advance so they can make other arrangements, and if I needed fumigation or AC repair that would be something that came up last minute.  I guess I need to just say no but they're going to think I'm such a bitch.

But most importantly I'm so glad nobody (so far) has said I have to suck it up and let them stay![/quote]

Look OP it seems like what you want is pity not an actual answer because you seem resigned to having them stay in your house.  If so, then yes, I say stop complaining and suck it up.

If you really don't want them to stay, then the PP is right, if they ask you or anyone else asks you, you say "sorry that won't work for us". If they ask "Why?"  Just leave a long pause in the conversation, and go on to the next topic. If they persist, you simply repeat, "It's just not going to work for us" and then end the conversation by saying you need to go  urgently and hang up.  Worst case scenario they will be mad, never get over it, and never visit again (and apparently they won't be a bad thing). More likely scenario, they will be pissed, bitch and gossip about you to other family, and still come visit you in the future because they will move on and get over it.  They will also start taking your rules at your home more seriously when visiting because they realize that you aren't a doormat.[/quote]

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