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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse took care of an elderly aunt who never married or had kids.  They were extremely close, however, and there was no hesitation in taking on her care despite the burden. [/quote] Same for my mother and her bachelor Uncle. It wasn’t seen as a burden like it is on this board.  It was seen as part of life.  [/quote]

It becomes a burden when the person is obnoxious, or life happens. Many people end up facing their own health issues or family challenges during that sandwich time. That is a part of life too and it is completely selfish to think someone should make a priority when they have a handful of other major life stressors pulling at them. People are fragile. I remember one poster on here years ago lamenting her sister had the nerve to die while being there for their parents and not the burden was hers.

Also you cannot compare caring for pleasant and appreciative people to caring for tyrants. It's like a parent with the easiest baby on the street giving advice and judging the moms who have babies with bad colic, medical issues, special needs and/or highly challenging temperaments. It reminds me of how moms of typically developing children will say to a mom of a child with multiple major needs endless intervention and doctor's appointments "God chooses special needs mothers. It's an honor."

I lucked out with a truly good, considerate and empathetic husband. I am fully aware some people have selfish or even abusive spouses and I don't judge them or tell them to suck it up because that's what your marriage vows are about. I keep my trap shut, I hope things improve for them and certainly don't judge or offer advice.[/quote]

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