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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My advice is that OP focus on her own life and stop worrying about her friend’s life.  Or if she really feels so bad for her friend, maybe stepping in and helping out the uncle a little bit herself?[/quote]

OP here. My friend can handle herself. I admire how she’s dealing with this.

My post is more about how looking at her situation made me worried about what my brother might expect later in life. He currently depends heavily on our parents, especially my mom (he is late 40s, has lived with them off and on his entire life, has plenty of money but manages it poorly) and I could absolutely see him trying to lean on my kid for help, and having a similar personality to my friend’s uncle (demanding, rigid) that would make it even harder.

I know my friend’s situation is not my business. But it’s made me think about my own family and worry a bit about the future.[/quote]

Different poster. OP, definitely let your kids know your expectations and teach and model boundaries. You hope they will check in on you. You will do your best to set things up so a burden does not fall on them. You want them to make the families they create and their own health a priority. Your brother is not their responsibility. If they chose to help out, they need to feel comfortable having strong boundaries and they should not ever allow someone to guilt trip, yell or manipulate them into doing things they do not feel comfortable doing.

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