Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Boyfriend dumped me and I don’t know why"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow that is horrible. Were there any red flags in hindsight?[/quote] There really were not a ton of red flags I could think of. [b]He is a little standoffish with respect to emotional intimacy. However over time he started to let me in more.[/b][/quote] OP, these two sentences together are probably your answer and unfortunately they also mean he isn't likely to give you more explanation. He's already prone to be "standoffish" about emotional intimacy. You had all the other components of a good thing in place -- mutual interests, mutual sense of humor, friendship, good sex. But if he was starting to "let you in more," he might have gotten scared off by the fact he was becoming more vulnerable with you. Some people can have all the other components there but once they realize that the other person (in this case, you) is starting to access their emotions, fears, vulnerabiliites, they shut down again. It's fear on their part. They fear letting others, especially the person they love, see their emotions. Some couples get through this with therapy or a lot of work on their own, but since he chose to break things off rather than stay, I'd say to let it go. I'm so sorry. But you may be much better off without him. If you want a relationship with deeper intimacy and openness about emotions, all the great sex and shared interests in the world won't make up for a lack of that type of intimacy. I also wonder about the timing. Did he break up shortly after you met his parents? He may have realized that the whole "She. Met. My. Parents." moment felt like a leap toward commitment and toward integrating you in his past as well as his present and future, and he wasn't ready to go there, even if he seemed happy on the surface about introducing you. After the fact, the meeting might have loomed large for him as feeling like too big a deal--not because of you, OP! But because he's not open to merging his whole life with your relationship. I'd move on. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics