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[quote=Anonymous]O posted already I think a lot of people don't understand many illnesses are on the rise among younger people. More and more people are having children with disabilities and illnesses as well. Thew working world is less stable and secure than it used to be. Yet. the elders are living longer in worse shape. It is unrealistic for parents, let alone non-parents to expect the younger generation to at the beckon call for potentially a 20 year period of decline.

There are people you can hire for all of this and living situations as well. You want to maintain a good enough relationship with your children that they will do what they can and check on you, but the amount of free care expected or even care and then maybe there is an inheritance is just not possible with the situations many people have. You have to think about whether you value your health MORE than the health of your own adult children.

My grandparents and great-grandparents were barely involved in the care of their parents. They either died swiftly or went to a nursing home. My parents left the burden for their siblings, but at least my grandparents went to assisted living willingly.

My parents are the charmed generation who benefited from the golden age of jobs and retirement plans and were busy traveling the  world and made it clear grand-parenting is for bragging rights, but we must not interfere with their busy life of travel and leisure which was fine.

The problem is they and their friends were too special to plan for disability beyond saving money. They are too special for aides, too special for residential and too special for everything and throw tantrums to get us to be there and I was sucked in for far too long until my own life exploded with illness and stress. And all that leisure time traveling and enjoying the finest restaurants contributed to longevity so they live a loooong time in this state of utter entitlement. You finally convince them to accept help from other than you and they fire the person and fire the next.

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