Reply to Remind me why we’re not supposed to get involved

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was in middle school there was some drama and the girl's parents did get involved and it made the rest of us madder.  It made the situation worse for her.[/quote]

What was the drama?[/quote]

I mean typical middle school drama, I assume - dumb stuff that wouldn’t happen to me now but happened when I was 13 and cared about being cool - something I don’t care about now. A girl told me a secret. I told two of our mutual girl friends the secret (even though I shouldn’t have). Then they told a few other people and word got back to the original girl. Then she got mad at me for telling the secret. Then we all got mad at her for getting mad at me and didn’t want to hang out with her. And then her dad tried to get involved and it made it worse. [/quote]

LOL I remember stuff like that.  It taught me a valuable lesson to NEVER tell a secret to a friend from school.  That dad sounds like the good kind of dad tho. In the short term she lost a lot socially, but in the long term I bet she always remembers her dad stuck up for her. [/quote]

DD will tell me her friends’ secrets, especially if she thinks that they are the unhealthy sort, and she needs an adult perspective. This is because she knows I won’t get involved unless necessary. She will not share friends’ secrets with anyone else. And she only shares her secrets with two other girls, [b]because they will not spread them around either[/b].[/quote]

That's what everyone thinks, then the next day some kid you don't hang out with comes up to you and says "hey, i heard you do/like/think blah blah blah."

I learned to feed people fake tame "secrets" so it would seem like I was strengthening bonds by sharing personal stuff, without ever actually revealing anything high stakes. For example one time the manipulative leader of our little friend group decided that we all had to share our crushes. I said my crush was the neighbor boy of my out-of-state grandma that I spent a lot of time with. Added lots of BS details that seemed to satisfy her so I didn't have to reveal my actual school crush. My good friend revealed her actual school crush and then surprise surprise, everyone at school knew.

Man I do not miss middle school! [/quote][/quote]

One of the girls, she’s been friends with since third grade. The other is new, but she’s apparently shared her secrets with DD as well, and she says it would cause her much more embarrassment to have those revealed.

She says the thing about sharing secrets is to make sure it’s mutual, and the other person has at least as much at stake as you do.[/quote]

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