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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Sad that I have never experienced healthy romantic love "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] A 25 year old should be mature enough to judge if a partner has good character and similar goals or not. Most things can change but not core values of a grown person. You weren't 17 and naive. Now at 35, you still aren't mature enough to either be fully in your marriage or get out of it. Just because you are daddy's princess, doesn't mean your husband would've similar unconditional love. You look down upon him, treat him with contempt and he resents you like one would resent a controlling mom. You can't just pick someone and hope to mold him into your ideal father. [b]I'm not trying to be mean[/b], just trying to see things from another possible perspective and get you out of self pity and do something to improve your situation.[/quote] You're "not trying to be mean" but you certainly achieved it anyway, PP. Scolding the OP about her choices made a decade ago does nothing to help or advise her NOW. You also make the vast assumption that you can see inside the DH's head and know that "he resents you" blah blah. Check your assumptions and get down off your high horse. Adding that you're trying "get [OP] out of self-pity" is no excuse for your unhelpful, arrogant post. OP, ignore the blame from PP above. First, I'm sorry about the miscarriage and frankly even sorrier your DH has no empathy. His reaction alone is reason to consider divorce. I agree with another PP who said that you should get to therapy as fast as you can. Start making calls today to find a therapist who can take you on. Therapy is in huge demand right now and it can be tough to find a therapist who is taking patients, so please start ASAP. Meanwhile, freeze eggs if you are determined to try for a bio child eventually (with him, with another man, with a donor). Also, take a hard and detailed look at your finances, both as an individual and as a couple, to ensure that if you decide to divorce, you'll be OK financially. In therapy you need to examine why your fear of being single and childless is so intense. I get it, it's a fear many of us have, or have had, but if it's so intense it's keeping you in a bad situation and [i]paralyzing[/i] you with fear -- you need to figure out how you could be happy on your own. Yes, you can divorce and leap into dating in hopes of finding the right man who wants a child etc., but you also need to be able to deal if that does not happen, and to learn to be happy in and by yourself. Also, you need to NOT blame your younger self. You couldn't have known that he would stall in man-boy mode. The PP above who thinks you should have had better foresight at 25 is not in your shoes, OP. [/quote]
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