Reply to MIL madness, and grandchild does not even exist yet

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I know that sounds frustrating. One thing I can say is that it sounds like she is talking to you in a way that basically admits that she knows she has issues and that what she is saying is a bit off. It also sounds like she actually likes you. My MIL, who I actually like, does not send me emails like this. She just DOES the things. If she emailed me something like "I could see myself being mad and jealous when..." it would be impossible for my husband to convince himself that she didn't mean something the way I took it, or that she was being nice and just said things the wrong way, and I wouldn't have to feel like I was always struggling to explain what she does and why it bothers me. I mean, in your case, it is obvious! But it also seems like she's reaching out and trying to share this with you. Even though this can be benign, and easier to face off to than the more subtle insulter / underminer, it's still not cool. In fact, your MIL sounds a lot like my mom. Needy, able to make everything about "her" and with so little impulse control she can't help herself from sending you emails she KNOWS will piss you off.

the only cure for this is a strong backbone and the ability to remind yourself: "deep breaths."

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