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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should have kept your mouth shut unless it was directly to your BIL.  [/quote]

And just not let my kids go?[/quote]

No, if you felt strongly about your brother-in-law, then you should have addressed the issue with him personally and not with his mommy. It was really immature and backstabbing of you.[/quote]

Exactly this.

Your points and concerns are totally valid. But adults talk to other adults, directly. Parents who have concerns about their kid talk to the other parent involved, directly. What you did was gossipy, unproductive, and just plain rude. You shot yourself in the foot, too. You were in the right, but because you mishandled the situation by gossiping instead of addressing an issue directly, now YOU look like the unreasonable, rude one.

Your response to his mother should have been: “I’ll have to talk to Ted about that and discuss some details, but that’s something they would probably really enjoy.”[/quote]

There is nothing Ted could say that would make me comfortable.  [/quote]

OK? Then don’t let your kids go. Or go yourself. By your own admission, there was nothing to be gained from talking to or about the person you have the complaint with. So why did you? What, you would have been satisfied by Ted’s Mommy talking to Ted, and apparently getting promises from him that the kids would all be looked after? By your own admission above, there is nothing Ted could say that would make you feel comfortable—why would Ted’s Mommy having this conversation with him instead of you be any different?

What did you hope to gain by “tattling”? You just look like a brat. Nothing gained, sorry. Yikes.[/quote]

What happened is that she invited the kids, and I said maybe it would depend on who else was going, because I didn’t want my teen alone in the water park with the three younger kids, so if they or some of them was coming I would need assurance that she would be there and she said that he was coming and “one of them” would be there, and I said I wasn’t comfortable with that.  I was hoping that she’d say “Oh, I was just planning on taking the oldest since it’s special for his birthday.”  Or “the baby is staying back, I plan to be watching the middle two the whole time, so the older kids can go off and have fun.”  I would be comfortable with either of those.  [/quote]

Her: “We should go to the water park.”
You: “Will you be there?”
Her: “No, but Ted can take his kids.”
You: “I don’t think that would work for us. But we look forward to seeing you all at the Fourth of July BBQ!”

End scene. There is no excuse for you laying your complaints at the feel of a nice woman who is not responsible for her adult son’s behavior, or her adult DIL’s behavior.[/quote]

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