Reply to Sharing an ASD dx with child when you're not sure if you buy it

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[quote=Anonymous]A lot of parents in this thread are saying it's fine to wait to tell.

Our daughter was diagnosed at 11 yo and because we were not sure we agreed with the diagnoses and because it was during a weird time with covid, we waited a year to tell her.

Our daughter is still upset with us over this because she feels the diagnosis explains a lot of things about herself that she was blaming herself for.  It gave her a certain freedom and acceptance of herself.  My daughter says, "it really affects your perception of yourself and allows you to be easier on yourself, to know the diagnosis.  And it's not the sort of information you can keep to yourself -- it profoundly impacts the experience of your child.  The longer you wait, the worse it will be -- for yourselves and for your child -- when your child does find out.  It is your child's right to know, and you should tell them now, you're not doing yourself or your child any favors by keeping it a secret.  It's a very common experience for people getting an ASD diagnosis to feel a weight lifted off your chest, to know that you're not weird or deficient, but there's an explanation for your experience and feelings."

Just to go against the grain of all the other parents in here -- from a kid's perspective, my middle schooler would have preferred to know when we knew.[/quote]

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