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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know what the OP's solution is. My parents were in the same boat four years ago. They lived in the house I grew up in; had $5M in the bank; and were just barely hanging on health-wise (they're now mid to late 80s). My mother had dementia but wouldn't admit it, and my dad had very compromised mobility due to neuropathy. My mom ended up breaking her hip, and now, fast forward 4 years, they live in Assisted Living here burning cash. I hate it, they're miserable (well my mom doesn't know where she is, so who knows)--but what exactly is the alternative? Attestupa? At the time I was begging them to move to an independent living facility, but nothing would have changed. They end up in these rapacious AL facilities or we take care of them. That's what our medical system + a private equity-built eldercare system gives us. I think my only general regret is that we don't live in a more close-knit community--family or village--that handles these burdens collectively. Although, of course, at the time when that existed, most people died in their seventies.[/quote]

I definitely don't like the private equity angle, but even the nonprofit ones are expensive. Yet caregiving costs money. We are going to be sort of downsizing in about 2 years and I am using that to start the purge. Wish I were more organized, but I'm just not so this will force me to take action.

My parents didn't have a lot of money, so the last years were harrowing in some ways. At the time, we also didn't have excess money, so we couldn't have swung what was needed to be put up for a CCRC. My dad was in a nursing home for a year while my mom was in a memory care unit in a nonprofit, which was a great fit for her.

My ILs are still on their own, but burning through their LTC with 5x/week in-home care for one of them. And they've burned a lot of their money with expensive rentals and trips. One day they will be knocking.

I hope to spare our kids as much of the EOL stress as possible, so they can be present with us when they can be.[/quote]

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