Reply to How do people find marriage partners in their early 20s?

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[quote=Anonymous]I met DH in college in a study group. Any advice I would have for somebody based on my own experience is likely going to be outdated because this was before apps, but it would be to just get out of your comfort zone and talk to people, regardless of how weird or awkward you think you sound. Also don't rely on alcohol to get you social so that people get to know the real you. This advice has the benefit of being good not just for finding partners, but also making friends!

I know what you're saying about not sounding desperate, and here are my thoughts about that. This is a big gender generalization but I think that when men meet the person they want to marry, they know it really quickly. So even if you have an attitude of "At this time of life I could take it or leave it" about marriage, a man who really wants you will pursue you hard enough for you to know he wants to marry you. And the part about not sounding desperate for me was more about not feeling desperate. I wanted to get married someday but the partner was more important than the status, and so it wasn't hard to act like I wasn't eager to get married. And I guess there was also that element of him chasing me because I did have my own life with friends, family, and interests and I wasn't going to ditch it all for him. I wasn't playing hard to get, I just really wasn't easy to get. On the other hand, when I was around my future husband, he could tell that I *really* liked him so that was enough encouragement for him to keep pursuing.

But none of this was calculated and I didn't have the goal of settling down early. I don't think it's something you can force. [/quote]

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