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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'm sorry you are dealing with this. This is such a challenging issue when parents want to be independent and make their own choices, but also insist on choices that will maximally burden their children in terms of their care.

Have you seen the show The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning? It's on Peacock, produced and narrated by Amy Pohler, and it's about this group of Swedish people helping Americans get their homes/lives in order so as not to burden their families with all their crap when they die (which according to the show is a Swedish thing, I don't know if that is accurate). It's an organizer, a decorator, and importantly, a therapist.

I know your issue is bigger than just organizing your parents home or even getting them to downsize (though it sounds like downsizing would still be a potentially good move if it could release some capital that would pay for their increasing care issues), but I really like that the show directly addresses the value in preparing for end of life, and death, proactively as a way to enjoy your current moment more. I wonder if watching this show or recommending it to your sister and parents could help with their outlook? So many people avoid these hard choices because they are afraid of sickness, old age, and death. So they pretend it will never happen and hold onto homes, things, jobs, relationships, etc., that don't serve them, because they thinking in acknowledging life is finite, they will lose something. But actually you GAIN something.

I don't know, maybe a dumb suggestion. But this is such a common problem and it would be so great if we had more cultural focus on helping people get over it. We are entering a crisis with all the Boomers entering their 70s and 80s and as a society we are not at all prepared for how to do it. So many of them (my parents included) want to pretend it's not happening but it is, it's happening.[/quote]

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