Reply to Why is it taboo for adult children to leech off their parents, but not for parents to leech off their adult children?

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Reply to "Why is it taboo for adult children to leech off their parents, but not for parents to leech off their adult children?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Fun fact: that thing about some kids needing to be sort of left to flounder so they will grow up actually can apply to parents too. I was helping my mom a lot, to the point where it was a big drag on my mental health. My therapist suggested that it might be for the best if I stopped helping so much. I think that these days therapists are WAY too quick to suggest severing ties, but I followed his advice and pulled back. I was terrified she would wind up homeless and it would be my failt! Wrong.  My mom had to figure some things out on her own, and she did, and she is fine. She found a lawyer to help her apply for disability, she started caring for an elderly gentleman to earn some money, etc. I still send money but I no longer feel obligated to go out of my way to help her and it feels great!

I think that you have to find a balance but default to love and care rather than the low end of your legal and moral obligations. I would never withhold help from my kids unless it was seriously detrimental for them or me. I’ve told my kids they can live with us for as long as they like. [/quote]

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