Reply to Are posters here really this spineless, or just bidding for attention on DCUM?

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[quote=Anonymous]Sometimes family dynamics make basic interactions much harder than the need to be. I am someone who is good at stating my preferences and setting boundaries, but can still struggle to do it with my parents because they simply do not hear "no" and will disregard things I say and just do what they want anyway. My mom is a master of just playing dumb ("oh I don't remember you saying the kids can't take of school today for a grandma visit, oops! well since I'm here anyway...") I've learned to deal with it, partly by just living very far away from my family which makes it much easier to enforce boundaries.

But when I see threads like this, I just assume people are dealing with these dynamics -- family members who just don't hear you or awknowledge when you try to set limits, and also might threaten and throw tantrums if you insist. And family is different than friends or coworkers because feelings of obligation are stronger (it's much harder to piss off your MIL or your own parents than a difficult coworker or a friend who is always crossing boundaries with you).

I try to have empathy. I don't think people are spineless. Sometimes family members are really difficult.[/quote]

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