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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was dumped because his wife found out.  He never said anything nasty to me but did end all contact and vice versa.  I don’t regret the affair. The ending was sort of par for the course if you’re seeing a married man.  I was always number 2 to his wife but at times number 1 in his heart (at least it felt that way).  I’m happily now over it but it took years.[/quote]

That’s not what I’m talking about.  If he actually said nasty things to you and then dumped you.  Would you still think you were ever truly #1 or would you see it was all lies by the things he says when he dumped you?  Like the mask came off…[/quote]

Is this what happened to you, OP? If that's OP, above.

Sounds like a case of true colors showing at the end. [b]Nasty statements are an easy and effective way to push the other person away quickly and definitively. Rather than wasting time lying about "it's not you, it's me" and "letting you down gently" as the saying goes, it's simpler to be honest and just blow everything up sometimes. [/b]Unless the other person decides to take revenge by outing the affair to the wronged spouse, of course....[/quote]

[b]Sometimes they see it as an only option when the “I’m busy” and the ignoring of texts/messages isn’t delivering the message adequately.  Person keeps hanging on.  Frustration builds and they set off the bomb and cut contact.  They likely had been trying to leave without a scene for fear gi a bunny boiler but in the end just went for it.[/quote][/b]

Men could avoid all the fury if they had an ounce of finesse. Women hate to be ghosted- they’re communicators, especially an emotional AP who is about to dumped. Men just need to prep things a bit: you’re feeling guilty and talking to your pastor, you are going to marital counseling, etc. Treat her with a little respect and buy her a parting gift. Let her walk away with her dignity intact and not like a sheet of used Kleenex. [/quote]

That is a lot of work and a man willing to do that level of emotional work is probably getting all the sex and adoration that he could ever want from his actual wife.  And call me crazy but I’m one who believes a lot of men who cheat are actually in sexless if not unhappy marriages, I say that because I was in a sexless marriage for a long time and I can’t imagine the man babies walking amongst us could tolerate that level of discomfort.[/quote]

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