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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was dumped because his wife found out.  He never said anything nasty to me but did end all contact and vice versa.  I don’t regret the affair. The ending was sort of par for the course if you’re seeing a married man.  I was always number 2 to his wife but at times number 1 in his heart (at least it felt that way).  I’m happily now over it but it took years.[/quote]

That’s not what I’m talking about.  If he actually said nasty things to you and then dumped you.  Would you still think you were ever truly #1 or would you see it was all lies by the things he says when he dumped you?  Like the mask came off…[/quote]

Is this what happened to you, OP? If that's OP, above.

[b]Sounds like a case of true colors showing at the end. Nasty statements are an easy and effective way to push the other person away quickly and definitively. Rather than wasting time lying about "it's not you, it's me" and "letting you down gently" as the saying goes, it's simpler to be honest and just blow everything up sometimes. Unless the other person decides to take revenge by outing the affair to the wronged spouse, of course....[/quote][/b]

+1 This is the answer. He didn’t want any follow-up contact or give you any lingering hope. Men often aren’t very gracious with break-ups even when they are single. Your memories are your own. The whole relationship was “unreal” so choose to live in reality for your next one. Value yourself and avoid reliving and over-analyzing every moment. Affairs rarely “end well.”

[/quote]

A lot of women are clingers and affairs are usually push and pull, dramatic. Telling them off at the end and being mean is a way to end it for good.  No more. You see your worth to them in that moment.  [/quote]

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