Reply to Please give it to me straight, no chaser

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I’m really sensitive and dramatic (not on purpose). I catastrophize everything in my head and make it worse than it is. When it comes to everything.

I’m in my early twenties and I feel lost. Lost in life, no friendships, no social life. I don’t have a path.

My mother really screams/argues with me because of this. I’m not mad at her, I get it. But because of this sort of reaction that I’m getting (tough love), I feel like my life is over.

Is this my anxiety lying to me? I mean I genuinely believe my life is effed forever.

Yesterday I went on Linkedin just to see something and I ended up scrolling and comparing myself to people my age and younger. I was miserable afterwards. Doesn’t help that every single person on Linkedin is stunning either. 
I just feel like crap and keep thinking that I would kill myself if it wasn’t for my family.

I feel like no one else is messing up, I feel like everyone has this perfect path and I deserve to die and that I’m worthless.
How can I change this narrative in my head?[/quote]

Every recent murderer and murder victim and sex or financial scandal subject has had a LinkedIn account or Facebook page that media links to in stories about.

I’m from a toxic abusive family and we had four thick family photo albums filled with smiling photos that didn’t reveal the rapes my mother endured at the hands of my violent alcoholic father or how the beatings of her and their children resulted in decades of trauma and wreckage. On paper - including LinkedIn - my own life looks quite ‘successful’, whatever that means. I’ve been working very hard for the last two years in therapy to see something in my life that is worth going on.

Your mother sounds like a toxic person in your life. I would urge you to seek therapy. You might want to consider whether her behavior  has some part in making you feel worthless, it wouldn’t be the first time in the history of fraught mother-daughter relationships. Often women who feel miserable and feel like they cannot get anything right have been hearing that message their entire lives from people who should love and encourage them the most.

All of the trappings of life mean absolutely nothing if you cannot master self love. Once you master self love, you’ll realize that none of those trappings are what really matter. Please find someone to talk to on a regular basis who can help you get to a place where you really grasp this. Once you do, hope and confidence will follow.

You’re a good person. You’re enough. You deserve to be here.[/quote]

Im so sorry you went through that❤️[/quote]

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