Reply to How to handle: Terminally ill neighbor, helping with kid who is crossing several lines

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I truly don't know what to do. Our neighbor is dying of ALS. Great guy. Wife is my friend. Has two kids, one of whom is 11 and my DD's age. We've been helping out however we can - meals, carpool, having kids over for dinner, whatever. Older son is fine. Also has a stepson much older at college (son of the husband from prior marriage).
However, the daughter has always been difficult for years - mean girl behavior, saying inappropriate things, etc - parents never noticed or seemed to correct it, and my DD just was nice enough to her while not forming a close friendship. With age, she has begun to exhibit bullying behavior toward my DD (called her fat, ugly, just cruel things) - which I told DD to just ignore and also explained about their tough time at home and just basically said please give her a pass right now. However, they have been together much more as we help out more. DD came to me last night in tears and showed me a text from this girl, who had sent to several kids - basically photos of my DD in a tank top saying "such a *** slut". DD has already displayed some anxiety around eating/weight and now this, as a parent infuriates me.
This for me is the last straw but I also want to help the mom/neighbor. I told my DD she did not have to hang out with her anymore at all, to keep away, that was her right, but now I wonder what to do as we're on duty to carpool for lacrosse three days this week, etc. [b]DH is furious and wants to speak to neighbor about her daughter calling mine a slut but with the husband being so sick I do not want to rock the boat. DH says we are doing no favors shielding them from their child's behavior. [/b]Note, we are now in Mid Atlantic so this is nobody anyone here would know.[/quote]

I agree with your husband. You need to talk to them about it and, you need to protect your own daughter, which might mean dropping carpools.

This is hard, I’m sure, and you seem to have a good heart. But I have a clear mind as well and do what’s right for your own family.
[/quote]

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